Saturday, March 31, 2007

BSL!

So now that I have a job I can afford to buy books. Among the first six books I've bought two of them are about British Sign Language. Another is about sensory defensiveness and APD.

These should be very englightening.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

So that one thing

I say tongue-in-cheek that bacon is the one thing that would make me ever reconsider atheism. There's one thing that would also, in the same way, make me reconsider bringing deafness upon myself: a cat's meow.

As I was walking home today from the job centre interview for a NI # one of the neighbourhood cats let me pet it and it meowed at me. I thought: "I'm going to miss that." Strange how it's not "I shouldn't do this!" but "I'm going to miss that."

I was having a slightly crummy day, fighting with my employer's VPN and the stress of the interview (I was out for 90 minutes in total!) and the kitty made my day! I love cats and believe them to be a higher form of life (no, I'm not kidding).

In fact I think top mounted ears like a cat's would be... the cat's meow! But I wonder how BTEs would be fitted to them... ;-)

(edit: Negated a key part of the 2nd paragraph for clarity. Thanks K. for pointing it out!)

Sunday, March 25, 2007

It's a trans-trans day

That's "Transabled" day... not of the good kind where all of one's wishes come true.

Just been focusing on this stuff more than usual. Casey's typing (as well as my own) has driven me mad. I've come to the end of my tolerance for masking music and podcasts. Since Casey is home I can't really put oiled cotton into my ears to have a more effective means of sound blocking.

Le sigh... sleep soon anyways.

Shhh

Yesterday Casey and I went to visit some friends in another city (Which I think is interesting because one of said friends has 'BIID' listed in her LJ profile! I didn't know and still don't know if it is simply an interest or if she suffers from it.). We did the usual things: walking, talking and being cold.

Towards the end of our visit we stopped ino a pub for drinks and to rest our feet and to warm up. The pub was small and noisy and it came to a point where I was theatricall ignoring the other three and put my fingers in my ears. I was really surprised at how quiet it was. For just a few seconds (If I sat there like that for much longer it would have looked odd!) it was bliss. I didn't notice just how noisy it had become.

I find that the more that I'm out of the flat due to my job the more annoyed with sounds I'm becoming: cars, tapping pens, people talking and laughing, train stations, pidgeons walking (yes I can actually hear their claws on the flagstones. *sigh*), children and so on.

I have mentioned to a few of my coworkers that my hearing "isn't all that good" since one 'A', gave me and 'L' a ride into Leeds and I couldn't clearly hear them talking. I haven't mentioned it to my project manager or small 'team' yet but I'm close. D's accent/dialect is really hard to understand! I sometimes wonder if he has a speech problem or if it is just his accent being so broad. I'm happy at work (although the commute is killing me) and I'm glad I work there; I enjoy the work and the people.

It's just the noise that is irritating.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Clarity

I seem to have an issue with vocal clarity at work. I believe that some of it is due to the accents of my coworkers but I (hope) don't think it's limited to just that. I am usually very good with accents. In fact I was able to watch Trainspotting with no subtitles and was able to understand most (if not all) of what everyone was saying. Anyways, accents don't usually throw me off.

However the two guys I deal with daily seem to talk gibberish!! On first pass they don't make any sense but when I stop and piece together what they've said and what I've understood into a complete thought it then begins to make sense.

That's what is annoying me.

Why do I have to hear every other pathetic noise (like pidgeon claws on flagstones! Fucks sake that's REALLY quiet!) but struggle with voices.

It's annoying to strugle so much with one thing but hear another thing so clearly.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Work

The people I work with are really cool. Most of them are my age. But there's a few problems (TA-wise):

They all seem to

1) be soft talkers
2) prefer talking over IM or Email

Getting to work requires a lot of speaking: train ticket type, bus ticket type, and talking to a taxi driver if I take a taxi. (Taxis seem to talk to their fares a lot here.)

I love the work that I do but I hope it doesn't drive me mad! I think I'll send a note to my group (did I mention that I'm a 'team leader'?) and say that I prefer typing when possible. Obviously (and this is a practicality thing, alas), some topics are time sensitive and require a verbal explanation. Or, talking to a group...

Many issues, they'll all be fixed soon, one way or another!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Hrmm... work!

So yesterday I was made an offer for a role in Leeds doing website programming. I accepted it!

At the interview they gave me the dime tour and I noticed that a lot of the coders were using ipods and other headphones. This gives me hope! :) I can get away with listening to music all the time to drown out noise.

I liked talking with the interviewers: they seem genuinely geeky like me and it was fun to talk to them about a pet project of mine. The people that work there seem really cool and I think it'll be a great place to work!

We'll see what happens DW-wise with this job...

Friday, March 9, 2007

Hidden Acceptance

So I'm watching TV just now and there was an advert on for a Lexus automobile. It's unmistakable:

PURSUIT OF SILENCE

That is a goal people seek so if they desire silence they should buy a Lexus.

How strange...

Of course the marketing people would likely shreek in terror if they knew of a deaf wannabe who really did want silence and not through the good insulation of their car.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

One of those 'TA Days'

This has been one of those days.

This morning Casey kind of had a go at me since I was reminding hir of a doctor appointment and sie kept dozing off in hir chair. I kept prodding so sie wouldn't be late (which happened anyways) and sie said "I just want 5 minutes and you keep waking me up every 2 minutes!!" *sigh* That started it I think... not that it's Casey's fault; sie still doesn't know. (that's my fault)

Then every tiny pathetic noise was pissing me off the entire day and it's been wearing me down. I have been listening to music of course except when I watched a little telly and leafed through a book.

Life is hard but it could be harder... of course it could be much easier.

On an unrelated note I had a thought the other day: If Casey and I were to visit my family back home (which is in a very largely populated deaf area) in 10 years (I presume that in 10 years we'll both be fluent with BSL and use it as our main means of communication) would the ASL users would look at Casey and I quizically, recognising sign but not understanding. What an odd thought to have!

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

A nifty sensation

One of the more nifty sensations a (hearing) deaf wannabe person can have (Or at least this deaf wannabe person) is the sensation that everything is just a little more quiet than normal after listening to loud music for an extended period of time or other prolonged exposure to loud sounds.

Anyone that's been to a rock concert has probably experienced this after they leave.

Personally I think this is the best.

Hanging in there

I'm still waiting to hear from the place I interviewed at. Casey says to give it until Friday and then email them asking what's going on. With any luck I'll hear from them today!

And speaking of today... the landlord is coming around to "inspect" the flats for faults. We live in new builds so they're doing quality control, I guess. I don't like it when he comes around since I'm a fairly private person and displaying the flat isn't something I enjoy doing. Not to mention it means I'll have to talk...to him.

TA-wise I'm kind of neutral: Casey snores and when sie does so it drives me mad. Snoring is one of the worst sounds IMHO and a few days ago it was just too much and I started crying. Then I got up and went to sleep on the sofa.

I've been comfort eating a lot recently too so maybe I'm not so "neutral". Chocolate is a depressed woman's friend. I guess I'll pay for it later, whatever.

Friday, March 2, 2007

The Job Interview

So this week I had an interview for a Linux Sysadmin role at a UK-based company. I haven't heard from the role yet but I want to write a few things down here: I think the interview went "okay" - as well as it could go; my skills aren't a perfect fit for the role and everyone knew it.

I decided to play it safe and not pretend to be HOH/Deaf although the two men who interviewed me seemed to be muddled slightly at times. I was very tired on the day and I think that lapses in concentration affect(ed) my ability to concentrate on what they (and others) are saying.

I should hear about the result this coming week. With luck I'll earn the role! Wouldn't it be nice to have money to spend on things...such as hearing aids? ;-)

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Offtopic a little: Cricket player wants to amputate his finger so he can play!


Oram talks about amputating injured finger

http://content-aus.cricinfo.com/wc2007/content/story/281841.html

Cricinfo staff

February 28, 2007

Jacob Oram is willing to cut off his injured ring finger if it is going to prevent him from playing in the World Cup. Oram will try specially designed splints and pain-killers to ease the pain, but if the problem won't go away he will consider an amputation.

"If it means cutting the finger off, if that's the worse-case scenario, if that's the last resort, I'll do that, there's no way I'm missing this," he told NZPA. Oram suffered the break during the first Chappell-Hadlee Trophy match and he will not test it until the New Zealand squad's first practice session in Barbados on Saturday.

However, Oram is unsure how his finger is healing under the protective strapping. "The plan is get to the West Indies, whip it off and assess the inflammation," he told the agency. "We've got a couple of techniques in terms of taping and a couple of guards which are a lot thinner so they can fit into a batting glove. I'm confident it'll be fine."

He is more worried by the prospect of another skyed catch after his doctors doubted he would be troubled by balls coming straight at him. Oram said the initial impact of the high chance at Wellington did not hurt and it was not until he looked down that he knew something was wrong.

"You know when your finger's not going straight it's bad news," he said. "I thought the worst straight away - two weeks out from the World Cup and you're finger's going at right angles. I've seen one replay where I look happy and then I'm swearing - it didn't go down well with mum."

© Cricinfo


Okay now it's one thing to have an amputation because you're in dire distress but because you're going to miss a sporting game?? Come on. I can't imagine the outcry from everyone if he does have his finger cut off. Transabled folk because it's hard enough to find doctors to help us and other people outraged because, well, that's just what they do.

I'm not one to say he's "wrong" for saying he'll have his finger off but I can't help hope that he had a more concrete reason than "Well shit I'm going to miss the big game." It kind of diminishes the distress the rest of us are in.