tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32247710408129819762024-03-13T16:00:43.371+00:00makemedeafThe blog of a woman in her mid 20s that wishes to be moderately/severely Deaf. This is called "Deaf-wannabe."
This blog deals with "taboo" topics. If it bothers you please do not read.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-66397280511169681382008-07-20T14:05:00.002+00:002008-07-20T14:08:21.537+00:00I should post an updateIt's been over two months since I've last posted. Last time my efforts didn't pan out well with the cotton. It requires a LOT of cotton to get a good seal and it really does make the ear canal ache. Went without, alas.<br /><br />The depressing thing is that the oiled cotton is good for a small loss but to get a large enough loss for me requires an unreasonable amount of cotton. Oh well. I'll continue with noise therapy to get to my goal.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-91565574020292726632008-05-14T00:18:00.002+00:002008-05-14T00:21:27.172+00:00SimmingSo for me it's relatively easy to simulate deafness (or probably more aptly "hard of hearingness"). Just shove some oiled cotton in my ears and hope no one looks down my ear canal. Easy.<br /><br />And with that in mind this coming weekend I shall land in a major North American city and do just that for the entire weekend. Nothing too exciting but I expect the trip will be scary and exciting and just what I need. Details afterwards, of course.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-45007657224848935622008-03-23T11:22:00.003+00:002008-03-23T11:28:46.887+00:00What a monthThis post could not start without saying that a few weeks ago my partner, Casey, passed away. We were going through a divorce and things must have been hard for hir and so, we think, sie took hir life.<br /><br />I'll be moving back to North America at the end of March (next week).<br /><br />In February I had my audiogram. I wasn't terribly upset that I didn't fib (much) or get hearing aids because I was planning to leave the country at the end of March anyways because of the divorce and it would have taken too long on a wait list to get hearing aids. It's okay...<br /><br />In any event I shall have to pay for my hearing aids, which I am fine with.<br /><br />The audiogram wasn't what I'd like it to be, obviously, but I'm okay with that.<br /><br /><br />Lately, with Casey's death I've not been too adversely effected by my BIID - I've been off work for a few weeks so I can control sound for the most part. There's been far too much going on for it to have an effect on me.<br /><br /><br />(Oh, and to anyone who would like to comment: Please don't say "I'm sorry for your loss" - I've heard it a thousand times to date and it is now meaningless. Think of something else to say to express that you think it sucks that my spouse took hir life.)Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-47860067408717418512008-01-29T08:10:00.001+00:002008-01-29T08:23:20.057+00:00On VocabularyIn the BIID community there's a lack of terminology available to us. We tend to say "wannabe", "need", and "want" and "desire" and the other synonyms to describe how we are effected.<br /><br />But they're not right and their other meanings too simplistic and convey an inappropriate meaning.<br /><br />Every time I encounter someone and tell them about my...condition one of those words wants to come out; they're a copout. They're an easy exit without having to go down the long road of explaining what I feel, how I feel and how those feelings impact me and have me see deafness as a solution.<br /><br />Using those words is just easier than going through the longwinded explanation (again and again) because in the end the person to whom we explain will just boil it down to those other words.<br /><br />Whenever I use those four words imagine we had a long conversation in which I explained that the words aren't sufficient to describe what I feel and that they're just a close approximation.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-43983227742333552082008-01-25T08:12:00.000+00:002008-01-25T08:20:31.179+00:00Where have I been?I've been in my own little world. I was in Canada for three weeks over Christmas and New Years. I've told Casey that it's over and that I want a divorce.<br /><br />Yeah... the 'D' word (no the other 'd' word). I've been trying to sort out what is going to happen to me after the fact and to make sure I still have a job after it's done. I haven't filed papers yet (doesn't matter when I do it cos Casey will not contest it) since I'm trying to get everything in order beforehand. To make matters more stressful I've got an audiogram coming up soon that I'm trying to "prepare" for.<br /><br />On the BIID front: I've been meaning to make a post about the inadequacies of words like 'need' and 'want' and 'desire' with respect to those afflicted by BIID but my focus of late is entirely on dealing with the situation at hand.<br /><br />Life for me is very stressful as of late. Life is very much "same shit different day"Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-69675518292589635812007-12-08T01:51:00.000+00:002007-12-08T01:54:05.354+00:00It's been a long timeIt's been another long time since I've made a post. Life is progressing, albeit in an odd direction. There's no real update.<br /><br />I still don't like sound and still seek deafness. My personal alarm has broken and I should buy another one for use. It sucks pulling it out of my purse, holding it up to my head, pulling the pin and having *NO* sound come out.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-61010312465384286922007-11-17T14:23:00.001+00:002007-11-17T14:30:02.785+00:00It has been some time nowIt has been ome itme now since my last post. I have the "power" but I haven't used it. I tell myself that it's because these alarms are designed to draw attention and when deafening myself the last thing I would want is curious eyes coming to the noise.<br /><br />But I'm running out of time, really. My hearing test is coming up rapidly and I can still hear more than I want for the test. I must either deal with hearing, make some bloody effort or shut up. Yes, Sean, you're right: explanation isn't required to docs but others may be more persistant. It's something I'm trying to deal with.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-83522313579633597642007-10-31T08:09:00.000+00:002007-10-31T08:16:50.722+00:00The euphemistic "therapy"That is short for "noise therapy". Ever since the <a href="http://makemedeaf.blogspot.com/2007/10/enough-playing-around.html">personal alarms</a> came I've been trying to find time and work the logistics out on how to use it. Surely one can't hold it to their ear and walk to work.<br /><br />However, home usage seems the only likely solution; under blankets and pillows and things to muffle the sound. And so I had a short test this morning. The pain isn't bad at all - in fact it did not hurt at all. Isn't that supposed to be the entire point of a personal alarm? Or is it to just draw attention? Anyways...<br /><br />The alarm has an interesting auditory effect. There's the obvious high pitched noise and a more subtle effect that is observed. This latter effect is more like a "wub wub wub" much more infrequent (and quieter) than the high-frequency oscillations. Honestly I wasn't expecting it. I imagine some DJ would sample it and mix it into a trance song. ha.<br /><br />I only had a minute this morning as the primary goal was a test of endurance. I stopped because I need to leave for work shortly. 'll try again tomorrow.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-13210189189240314942007-10-20T12:44:00.000+00:002007-10-20T12:50:03.561+00:00Enough playing around...I've ordered a couple personal alarm keychain things whose advertisers rate it at "140 decibel". These will serve a dual purpose: some sort of protection when walking to and from work. It's getting dark earlier and I'm not very imposing. It's also a crime to carry pepper spray where I love. D'oh. They will also serve to damaging my hearing. I'll worry about where I'll find a place to use such a loud device later (People would tend to come investigating).<br /><br />It should be well and truly painful but as the lame saying goes: no pain no gain.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-5085915115682166292007-10-12T13:10:00.000+00:002007-10-12T13:18:48.370+00:00DespairIt's very frustrating to spend the majority of hours of days on end pumping loud music into one's ears and seemingly have no ill effects.<br /><br />I have a set of "pure tone" frequencies ranging from 125Hz to 8KHz and on the lowest volume on my MacBook Pro I can hear them all. Makes me question what the point is of noise therapy in the first place if it I can still hear these tones. Yes I know what the point is and I still seek it! Music, it seems, is simply not loud enough. Neither is loud white noise (or pink noise). These all have temporary effects but not long-lasting.<br /><br />I'm beginning to understand why people put superglue in their ears and try ototoxic drugs. I am prepared to wait, I understand that intentionally damaging one's hearing (with the methods I've been using) isn't something that can be done in a few weeks or months. But damnit, some progress would be nice. :/<br /><br />The amusing thing is that my tinnitus is no worse.<br /><br />I have nothing else to do except continue with what I'm doing. It is hard to spend a long time with REALLY loud things up against your ears because people tend to come looking to investigate the cause of loud noises (air horns, personal alarms and so on).Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-65992390895031853142007-10-09T06:29:00.001+00:002007-10-09T06:39:11.825+00:00Leave us aloneFrom time to time I get negative emails and comments calling me crazy and things of that nature because I wish to intentionally damage my hearing. Oftentimes I don't know the background of the detractors but today I know.<br /><br />I noticed a large number of hits coming from a popular deaf message board this morning and to say that the thread about my blog was positive would be laughable.<br /><br />I don't understand, though. I've read a few of the threads and many people seem proud of their deafness and seem to reject attempts to make them hearing. I wonder if they are the same people who say that I am crazy for wishing to be deaf? Seems like a double standard.<br /><br />Or maybe they fear a hearing person invading their space, think I may force them to give up their culture and dehumanise them? Reminds me of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MWMF">MWMF</a>'s stance towards transwomen. "Invaders invaders!"<br /><br />I am not seeking attention - in fact I am quite shy (there's a reason this blog is anonymous after all). That rules Munchausen syndrome out.<br /><br />I'm curious how these detractors feel about transsexuals. Are we invading womenspace and manspace? Because we can't all transition at 10 years old does that mean we have lied to everyone from denial and trying to fit in? It's absurd.<br /><br />So, whatever. Keep calling me crazy with one hand and proclaiming the glories of Deafhood with the other. Don't you think people think you are crazy for not wanting to be hearing? I'm sure this post will draw a number of comments on the aforementioned thread so comments are disabled. Email me if you really want to tell me I'm a jerk or crazy or stupid (it's been done before!)Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-78880079348619289562007-09-21T12:07:00.000+00:002007-09-21T12:10:09.315+00:00Having to pickI like quiet and I don't like noise (this is not the novel thing).<br />I need to expose myself to loud noises to become deaf (or other more risky methods that I'm not prepared for yet).<br />I hate having to pick between an already quiet room and noise therapy. On the one hand I know that it's the path to my goal but on the other hand it'll be noisy and I don't want to 1) interrupt the quiet and 2) hear to noise!<br /><br />The choice sucks.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-15942055693268850612007-08-28T18:29:00.000+00:002007-08-28T18:33:42.961+00:00Excited.I bought a pair of Etymotic ER-6i earphones a week or two ago and their potential to damage/destroy my hearing is making me really excited about the whole prospect. I can't help but looking forward to spending time with them in my ears with my ipod or itunes cranked up!!Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-89033174303874741032007-08-25T10:31:00.000+00:002007-08-25T10:52:21.407+00:00FrustrationLast week I bought a pair of in-ear earphones (<a href="http://www.etymotic.com/ephp/er6i.aspx">Etymotic ER-6i</a>) on the recommendation of a good friend. They're easy to get a comfortable seal but they earphones are really good when they get a good seal: Good sound, loud, and there's no leakage! A coworker sitting next to me couldn't hear anything with my iPod at maximum.<br /><br />The frustration comes in when I know for a fact that these are perfect for "noise therapy" but when I'm at home alone for a long weekend I'd rather enjoy the relative quiet that is just computer fans (and, alas, the typing - but it's much quieter with my new MacBook Pro). I don't want to listen to noise when I don't have to but I need to in order to damage my hearing. This is a side effect of the paradox: need noise so one doesn't can't hear, but one don't want to hear the noise needed to damage hearing!<br /><br />I'll probably limit my listening to commuting to and from work and when at work because as much as I'd like to be deaf I'd like nothing more than to not hear noise! (Work that one out, dear reader!)Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-37807145925629037482007-08-17T21:23:00.000+00:002007-08-17T21:42:39.408+00:00Worse and worseWith each day my desire to be deaf increases. It is, I think, directly related to stress and therefor could be a coping mechanism. Whether or not that's healthy or not I don't care - it's a feedback loop and it sucks.<br /><br />I had my hearing therapy appointment recently and the lady suggested lipreading classes. Good idea and something I was planning long term (after BSL level 1). I also got a printout of my audiogram from February. It is all normal (everything above 20db really) except the 6KHz dip: down 30 at left, down 40 at right. It was a bit depressing to see such a flat line leading up to the notch but the printout also had a grayed out area corresponding to the speech banana. I saw that as a kind of target zone, something to aim for to destroy my hearing.<br /><br />I have a followup audiogram in February - I have a lot to do by then!<br /><br />Anyways the whole point of this was to rant and not to recap my hearing therapy - i wanted a post for it by itself<br /><br />I hate hearing and the stress that comes from a noisy office and commuting almost 4 hours a day.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-39086905352675509632007-08-06T19:32:00.000+00:002007-08-06T19:48:36.009+00:00Another updateAn Update<br /><br />I've just finished reading the book <em>Seeing Voices</em>, by Oliver Sacks. The book is a very good look at Deaf culture and the history of deafness in the Western world. I won't say too much about it other than it's a very good read and (given the history) I can understand a bit why so many Deaf people are so against Cochler implants and hearing people who seek deafness for themselves.<br /><br />And on to the real subject of the the update. I've been considering methods of making myself deaf and have come to a sort of quandry: Even if I manage to make myself severely deaf how would I explain to any sane audiologist why I waited until then to seek help? Wouldn't I have noticed when, you know, I couldn't hear people? It seems that a stepping method would be required for any sense of believability. By "believability" I mean without having to explain myself!<br /><br />I then began to wonder why I would even care. Well it's obvious: I need to have some sort of doctor signoff for work and probably would have to use some sort of correction at work.<br /><br />And on to the topic of correction (re: hearing aids). I continue to ponder the correlary between the 40 year old transsexual woman I saw in the therapist's office when I was there to get my second letter for GRS that was wearing something completely pink and not age appropriate. Those types of people I can't help think are overcompensating or trying to overly present a female image. The same thing applies to me with my coveting of hearing aids: overly present a deaf image.<br /><br />Casey and I are planning to move soon, closer to where we both work, and sie has offered to take BSL courses with me. But we'll need around £1600 for the first month's rent including security deposity, plus having to pay another £600 rent where we currently live for a month, and then £200 each for BSL lessons. I may have to wait until Spring for lessons. :( I don't think we/I could afford it all. *sigh*<br /><br />Maybe in Spring.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-5297018691719394702007-07-28T18:51:00.000+00:002007-07-28T18:56:08.076+00:00The cool thing about having a blog...The cool thing about having a blog is that I can feel free to write in it and whine all I like about hearing. No one has to read it and I get an outlet to vent.<br /><br />Yes, I really don't like hearing. Not much I can (realistically) do about it at present due to my situations.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-44101209579161135912007-07-22T21:09:00.000+00:002007-07-22T21:11:30.790+00:00Still aroundI got my appointment for the hearing therapist. It's coming up in August. I'm looking forward to it but I dont think it'll result in me with a set of HAs.<br /><br />It's a bit depressing but that's life.<br /><br />In other news I'm going to visit Robin in September! It should be lots of fun. We've been friends for years but we've never met in person.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-18099566081207822882007-07-07T21:13:00.000+00:002007-07-07T21:20:49.719+00:00A couple thingsThis coming September I'm hoping to visit <a href="http://www.demyelinate.org">Robin</a> in Canada. I'm going to try and spend most of it with oiled cotton in my ears.<br /><br />I learned that my <a href="http://makemedeaf.blogspot.com/2007/02/guilty-pleasures.html">previous experiences</a> with this technique to block sound wasn't as effective as it could have been: Apparently the results are better if the oiled cotton is right up against the eardrum.<br /><br />Today whilst Casey was visiting one of hir friends near London I was going to try The Right Way and get the cotton right up against my eardrum for a more effective earplug. Well, it didn't go too well. After several attempts I was still hearing most things around me (e.g., tapping the counter with a fingernail!) and that was unacceptable. I have not given up attempts just yet and will have more attempts before my visit to Canada.<br /><br />It's just frustrating trying to find the right balance of oil, cotton, and depth when the only guide I have is the averge depth of an adult human's ear canal. I can't see in there or gauge how far it's down. Using a Q-tip as a ramrod is a good idea and still it seems there is a lot of room for improvement.<br /><br />All in all today has been a learning experience, even if frustrating.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-28999274259691532822007-07-01T20:38:00.000+00:002007-07-01T20:59:18.881+00:00Let's talk about sex.This is a post about sex that has nothing to DO with sex. Do I have your attention? Let's begin.<br /><br />In the transsexual community there are generally a few types of (pre-operative) people: 1) Those who absolutely refuse to "use" their genitals for anything other than urination. 2) Those who will self-fornicate on a regular basis but not let anyone else see or touch. 3) Those who will use their bits irregardless of them being transsexual (Note: This doesn't mean they're *NOT* transsexual, rather, it just means they're not so offended as those in group #1 are). 4) Those others I've left out.<br /><br />I personally was a part of group 1.<br /><br />However, I want to talk about group 3 and BIID.<br /><br />I suspect that a similar grouping can be made with transabled individuals: those that use the offending parts (be it legs for walking, ears for hearing, eyes for seeing) even though they'd rather NOT. In fact I'm sure it's inevitable in many cases.<br /><br />I suppose that in all cases said usage is a case of practicality. It's quicker to run to a train, quicker to listen to information instead of reading, and communicating verbally rather than nonverbally.<br /><br />This blog is about me so it should come as no surprise that if the above transsexual categorisations were made similar for BIID that I would fall into group 3. I recognise and accept the practicality of hearing. (It's practical to use sound to block other sound, I should like to point out.) I do not like hearing, but I will listen to podcasts that deal with my profession and converse with my coworkers and Casey (I've all but given up on getting them to use email or Google Talk).<br /><br />I feel guilty, though, which is part of the reason I'm writing this post. I'd like to have it "on record" for myself because I need to rationalise this paradoxical use of sound. There will be people who comment "you don't <em>really</em> want to be deaf" after this post, but that's okay. You can post it. I've thought it too! How could someone that claims to be a deafwannabe actually enjoy music, podcasts and television with sound?<br /><br />I don't know. Maybe the same reason the category 3 transsexual enjoys the usage of their bits even though they'd prefer to get rid of them. "Use em while you got em?"<br /><br />Make no mistake. I have greater joy sticking my fingers in my ears than my ipod buds with an Evolution-Creationist debate.<br /><br />(This next bit will probably piss people off)<br /><br />However, it's stupid to ignore the practicality of able-bodiedness and it's stupid to risk one's career to eliminate a double-life wherein one a person appears AB and in the other somehow not. I would rather go to work a hearing person (for now. Ask me in, say, 30 years.) and keep my job than get sacked for one day showing up with a more noticible hearing problem! Practicality.<br /><br />Life at home is different. I avoid noise to the best of my ability: If Casey is asleep I will not listen to music or podcasts, the noise of the fans and my own typing I can tune out. I can watch TV without sound (it'd probably tip hir off if I didn't) and I can maintain some sanity. Practicality.<br /><br />Oil and cotton are messy to concoct earplugs from, so I do with the cheap foam ones when my noise quote has been reached instead of going for the better seal. Custom made high attenuation earplugs are expensive and I don't yet have the spare cash to spend so I do without them.<br /><br />Anyways, I've drifted off topic here so let me close with this: Live subtitles suck.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-10703849346755110662007-06-27T17:34:00.001+00:002007-06-27T17:38:31.975+00:00If they only knewA week ago Casey and I were running late on our joint journey to work and had to take a later than usual train. Consequently we couldn't sit next to each other. We had to do the next best thing and sit next to each other with the aisle between us, both at a table.<br /><br />I was reading my Linguistics of British Sign Language book (which is really good) and one of the two people sitting in front of Casey whispered to the other: <br />"That woman is learning to sign. I wonder if she is deaf."<br /><br />I didn't hear them and it wasn't until later when Casey relayed to me what they said that I was laughing. Casey restrained hirself from telling them that I was learning sign because my hearing is a bit wacky.<br /><br />Amusing.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-87802216676934992152007-06-04T20:40:00.000+00:002007-06-04T20:42:26.776+00:00Same old?I haven't posted in nearly two weeks. Honestly there's not much going on. I'm still struggling with TA things; work is going well and I haven't opened up to Casey yet about being DW.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-74662361996108319582007-05-23T13:19:00.000+00:002007-05-23T13:38:06.888+00:00A Reply to IntoleranceIt should come as no surprise to the readers of this blog that I subscribe to a Yahoo list for people who wish to be deaf. Though that list I came across <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbouch/F2322274?thread=4166623">this link</a> to the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbouch/F2322274">See/Hear</a> message board.<br /><br />The post is about a soap opera in the UK called <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/holbycity/">Holby City</a> which had a storyline on the 17 May 2007 episode about a deaf wannabe. Well needless to say some people are vocally against us and had <a href="http://melowblogalog.blogspot.com/2007/05/theyre-back.html">something to say</a> about this episode.<br /><br />However, the reply I made is to the aforementioned See/Hear message board.<br /><br />I'll reproduce the original post and my reply here for clarity:<br /><br />Original:<br /><blockquote>It was a scary reminder that these people still do exist, and have in the past as a few of us will remember used and pretended to be deaf on these boards.<br /><br />Within Holby the girl had to go into hopital (as you do with it being a hospital drama) her new boyfreind thought or was uner the impression she was deaf..she had done her level one and thats it.<br /><br />She bought a hearing aid of the net and wore it, comments beign that people looked at her differently, she got free bus passes and more help.<br /><br />lt was different for Holby to cover something like this, and I don't know if they covered it as well as they could have..problem with throwing something like this in the wider eye of the public is that it's going to give people ideas.</blockquote><br />By <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mbouch/MP1364431">Jippers (U1364431)</a> 5 days ago.<br /><br />My reply is:<br /><blockquote><br />I don't see what the problem is.<br /><br />Are people so uptight that they can't let people make the decisions they want? How would you feel if the hearing world expressed disgust and claimed that all deaf people were mentally ill because they weren't immediately having cochlear implants implanted and undergoing intense hearing and speech therapy to function?<br /><br />It is a hearing world, after all.<br /><br />It's also an intolerant world, too.<br /><br />How does someone becoming deaf (for whatever reason) impact anyone other than them? Surely there are concerns that they should be aware of for family and workplace but it's their responsibility.<br /><br />It is not your responsibility to live their life for them.<br /><br />I suspect the veracity of claims that people "become deaf" for the exclusive reason of drawing public funds. It seems a long way to go in order to obtain a bus pass or public assistance whereas it'd be arguably easier to simply pretend to be deaf instead. Pretending to be deaf in order to obtain public funds, however, is fraud.<br /><br />Of course, I expect this post to be largely ignored and criticised but whatever; has to be said.</blockquote><br /><br />I want to let my reply speak for itself.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-1765425872120617092007-05-17T18:54:00.000+00:002007-05-17T19:03:26.834+00:00Opportunity, take twoThis week has been exceptionally busy at work. Meetings every day. At the start of the week the week looked grim. Yesterday I was ALLLLLMOST ready to take a job doing the same sort of work five minutes from our flat. Today I'm glad to work there since they saw the light and will do things the easy way instead of making me do <em>a lot</em> more work.<br /><br />So today I learn that my part in this massive project is far easier, I get to work from home tomorrow (I was supposed to do so on Wednesday but had a meeting!!), I get to leave work 20 minutes early and get home 35 minutes early, and when I get home there's an advertisement in the mailslot...<br /><br />The advertisement is for a place called <a href="http://www.davidormerod.co.uk/">David Ormerod</a>. They sell digital hearing aids and they have a sale until the end of May. This made my face light up! Horray! I can use this to tell Casey (for example): "So I'm going to book an appointment to work on the goal you suggested." - "What goal, Marie?" - "To be a deaf person, like you suggested."<br /><br />Ha ha. Now that I have work and regular income it wouldn't burden Casey (too much?). I want to discuss this with hir cos it's driving me mad.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3224771040812981976.post-3156487640152497832007-05-10T21:03:00.000+00:002007-05-10T21:09:25.310+00:00OpportunityI have an opportunity at hand and it's slipping away.<br /><br />[ Not posting the large back story here so bear with me. ]<br /><br />Last night during dinner Casey asked why I'm annoyed with hir DJing [in Second Life, from our home]. I said that I'm not annoyed by it, but rather I just don't like sound! I was stunned by hir response:<br /><br />"So become a deaf person."<br /><br />There you have.<br /><br />I didn't say anything like "Yes!!! I DO WANT THAT !!" - I chickened out and it depresses me. Soon, however, I plan to bring it up. Casey now knows that I do not like sound and I can press that "button" to provoke a conversation about it. I think this is my choice.<br /><br />But there's one thing holding me back: Fear. I love Casey with all that I am and really am afraid to lose hir. One friend said that I should be at ease with talking to Casey about anything without fear of abandonment. She's right but I'm not at ease with this topic and a few others, but that is probably just "normal" relationship communication problems.<br /><br />Yes, Sean, I know I should just do it. But it ain't that easy for me. In good time, it'll be done.Mariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07411430478917968107noreply@blogger.com4