On Vocabulary

In the BIID community there's a lack of terminology available to us. We tend to say "wannabe", "need", and "want" and "desire" and the other synonyms to describe how we are effected.

But they're not right and their other meanings too simplistic and convey an inappropriate meaning.

Every time I encounter someone and tell them about my...condition one of those words wants to come out; they're a copout. They're an easy exit without having to go down the long road of explaining what I feel, how I feel and how those feelings impact me and have me see deafness as a solution.

Using those words is just easier than going through the longwinded explanation (again and again) because in the end the person to whom we explain will just boil it down to those other words.

Whenever I use those four words imagine we had a long conversation in which I explained that the words aren't sufficient to describe what I feel and that they're just a close approximation.

Where have I been?

I've been in my own little world. I was in Canada for three weeks over Christmas and New Years. I've told Casey that it's over and that I want a divorce.

Yeah... the 'D' word (no the other 'd' word). I've been trying to sort out what is going to happen to me after the fact and to make sure I still have a job after it's done. I haven't filed papers yet (doesn't matter when I do it cos Casey will not contest it) since I'm trying to get everything in order beforehand. To make matters more stressful I've got an audiogram coming up soon that I'm trying to "prepare" for.

On the BIID front: I've been meaning to make a post about the inadequacies of words like 'need' and 'want' and 'desire' with respect to those afflicted by BIID but my focus of late is entirely on dealing with the situation at hand.

Life for me is very stressful as of late. Life is very much "same shit different day"