Leave us alone

From time to time I get negative emails and comments calling me crazy and things of that nature because I wish to intentionally damage my hearing. Oftentimes I don't know the background of the detractors but today I know.

I noticed a large number of hits coming from a popular deaf message board this morning and to say that the thread about my blog was positive would be laughable.

I don't understand, though. I've read a few of the threads and many people seem proud of their deafness and seem to reject attempts to make them hearing. I wonder if they are the same people who say that I am crazy for wishing to be deaf? Seems like a double standard.

Or maybe they fear a hearing person invading their space, think I may force them to give up their culture and dehumanise them? Reminds me of MWMF's stance towards transwomen. "Invaders invaders!"

I am not seeking attention - in fact I am quite shy (there's a reason this blog is anonymous after all). That rules Munchausen syndrome out.

I'm curious how these detractors feel about transsexuals. Are we invading womenspace and manspace? Because we can't all transition at 10 years old does that mean we have lied to everyone from denial and trying to fit in? It's absurd.

So, whatever. Keep calling me crazy with one hand and proclaiming the glories of Deafhood with the other. Don't you think people think you are crazy for not wanting to be hearing? I'm sure this post will draw a number of comments on the aforementioned thread so comments are disabled. Email me if you really want to tell me I'm a jerk or crazy or stupid (it's been done before!)

The things we "trade"

So people in my situation seem to be willing to do a hell of a lot to reach our goals. Be it deafness, blindness, paralysis or amputation of one or more limbs: walking, music, reading a classic print book.

Why do we do it? It'll sound cliché to say "because we need to" but when all the crap is boiled away that's precisely what it is. Let's look at this from another point of view:

John, an 18 year old High School student and his 18 year old girlfriend-from-Middle School have just graduated from Springfield High School. John has a sports scholarship to a big baseball school on the West Coast of America whereas his girlfriend wants to go to Brown in Rhode Island, thousands of miles away. All his life John has wanted nothing more to marry his girl and play baseball. The scholarship is his ticket since his family isn't well-to-do. John makes the hard decision to marry his girl. He needs her love more than baseball. In a sense he's traded his dream to play baseball for love.
A weak analogy but still. Everyone is willing to give things up for something more important. It just so happens that for those of us who feel desires to be deaf, or blind, or paralysed or what-have-you we're willing to trade a hell of a lot more than John.

Personally I find Beethoven's 9th Symphony in D minor, opus 125 to be the world's finest example of music. I'd give it up to achieve my goal. Why? Because I value deafness more than the greatest piece of music anyone on this planet has ever created. Granted with hearing aids I'd still be able to get some enjoyment from his masterpiece - remember: profound deafness is not my goal at the moment.

Let's look at the male-to-female transsexual as a case to compare against:

She gives up reproductive abilities, male privelege, risks losing her job, family, and friends. And for what? Because for her it's worth losing everything to be herself.

One more thing I give up with hearing loss: advanced notice that Casey is approaching behind me. Oops!! As I was composing this entry with great big letters at the top of the screen reading [MAKEMEDEAF], being the title of my blog, sie came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder shattering the few hours I thought I had to compose this entry. You see, I'm almost always listening to music to block out external noise. Sie didn't anything but I wonder how long sie was behind me and reading...

...and it'd still be worth it.