Thursday, May 10, 2007


I have an opportunity at hand and it's slipping away.

[ Not posting the large back story here so bear with me. ]

Last night during dinner Casey asked why I'm annoyed with hir DJing [in Second Life, from our home]. I said that I'm not annoyed by it, but rather I just don't like sound! I was stunned by hir response:

"So become a deaf person."

There you have.

I didn't say anything like "Yes!!! I DO WANT THAT !!" - I chickened out and it depresses me. Soon, however, I plan to bring it up. Casey now knows that I do not like sound and I can press that "button" to provoke a conversation about it. I think this is my choice.

But there's one thing holding me back: Fear. I love Casey with all that I am and really am afraid to lose hir. One friend said that I should be at ease with talking to Casey about anything without fear of abandonment. She's right but I'm not at ease with this topic and a few others, but that is probably just "normal" relationship communication problems.

Yes, Sean, I know I should just do it. But it ain't that easy for me. In good time, it'll be done.


Sean said...

"Feel the fear and do it anyway", as trite as that sounds ;)

Seriously though, in theory, you should be able to talk to your partner about anything, but... this is a rather BIG chunk. It's not easy.

But it's worth it. Imagine, being able to be who and what you are, without hiding such an important part of yourself :)

Kyla said...

So... did you do it yet?

Claire said...

Yeah. If your relationship is strong and healthy already, I think that coming out is a good thing. If it's not, then it will severely exacerbate things. Voice of experience, here.

Marie said...

No. I'm a big chicken. :(

I'm pushing towards it though.