Thursday, May 10, 2007

Opportunity

I have an opportunity at hand and it's slipping away.

[ Not posting the large back story here so bear with me. ]

Last night during dinner Casey asked why I'm annoyed with hir DJing [in Second Life, from our home]. I said that I'm not annoyed by it, but rather I just don't like sound! I was stunned by hir response:

"So become a deaf person."

There you have.

I didn't say anything like "Yes!!! I DO WANT THAT !!" - I chickened out and it depresses me. Soon, however, I plan to bring it up. Casey now knows that I do not like sound and I can press that "button" to provoke a conversation about it. I think this is my choice.

But there's one thing holding me back: Fear. I love Casey with all that I am and really am afraid to lose hir. One friend said that I should be at ease with talking to Casey about anything without fear of abandonment. She's right but I'm not at ease with this topic and a few others, but that is probably just "normal" relationship communication problems.

Yes, Sean, I know I should just do it. But it ain't that easy for me. In good time, it'll be done.

4 comments:

Sean said...

"Feel the fear and do it anyway", as trite as that sounds ;)

Seriously though, in theory, you should be able to talk to your partner about anything, but... this is a rather BIG chunk. It's not easy.

But it's worth it. Imagine, being able to be who and what you are, without hiding such an important part of yourself :)

Kyla said...

So... did you do it yet?

Claire said...

Yeah. If your relationship is strong and healthy already, I think that coming out is a good thing. If it's not, then it will severely exacerbate things. Voice of experience, here.

Marie said...

No. I'm a big chicken. :(

I'm pushing towards it though.