It's been over two months since I've last posted. Last time my efforts didn't pan out well with the cotton. It requires a LOT of cotton to get a good seal and it really does make the ear canal ache. Went without, alas.
The depressing thing is that the oiled cotton is good for a small loss but to get a large enough loss for me requires an unreasonable amount of cotton. Oh well. I'll continue with noise therapy to get to my goal.
So for me it's relatively easy to simulate deafness (or probably more aptly "hard of hearingness"). Just shove some oiled cotton in my ears and hope no one looks down my ear canal. Easy.
And with that in mind this coming weekend I shall land in a major North American city and do just that for the entire weekend. Nothing too exciting but I expect the trip will be scary and exciting and just what I need. Details afterwards, of course.
This coming September I'm hoping to visit Robin in Canada. I'm going to try and spend most of it with oiled cotton in my ears.
I learned that my previous experiences with this technique to block sound wasn't as effective as it could have been: Apparently the results are better if the oiled cotton is right up against the eardrum.
Today whilst Casey was visiting one of hir friends near London I was going to try The Right Way and get the cotton right up against my eardrum for a more effective earplug. Well, it didn't go too well. After several attempts I was still hearing most things around me (e.g., tapping the counter with a fingernail!) and that was unacceptable. I have not given up attempts just yet and will have more attempts before my visit to Canada.
It's just frustrating trying to find the right balance of oil, cotton, and depth when the only guide I have is the averge depth of an adult human's ear canal. I can't see in there or gauge how far it's down. Using a Q-tip as a ramrod is a good idea and still it seems there is a lot of room for improvement.
All in all today has been a learning experience, even if frustrating.
More and more I'm considering using earplugs when I'm outside. My threshold for noise is dropping and I no longer get much joy from music (which is probably a sign of worsening depression).
Unfortunately using them at work is not an option since my employer knows me as a hearing person (that and they'd SEE the earplugs!) and at home I'm not sure I can get away with yet.
Either way, I spend a lot of time commuting.
So what's stopping me? Well, nervousness. It's a change and I am resistant to change, even when it'd be for the better. I also worry about people seeing my earplugs and becoming offensive after I do not respond to them.
Something to overcome. I think this coming week I will try to do the commute home leg with my earplugs, except for a taxi home should I take one. Many of the drivers know that I can hear...It'd be odd and I'm not prepared for that yet.
Yesterday Casey and I went to visit some friends in another city (Which I think is interesting because one of said friends has 'BIID' listed in her LJ profile! I didn't know and still don't know if it is simply an interest or if she suffers from it.). We did the usual things: walking, talking and being cold.
Towards the end of our visit we stopped ino a pub for drinks and to rest our feet and to warm up. The pub was small and noisy and it came to a point where I was theatricall ignoring the other three and put my fingers in my ears. I was really surprised at how quiet it was. For just a few seconds (If I sat there like that for much longer it would have looked odd!) it was bliss. I didn't notice just how noisy it had become.
I find that the more that I'm out of the flat due to my job the more annoyed with sounds I'm becoming: cars, tapping pens, people talking and laughing, train stations, pidgeons walking (yes I can actually hear their claws on the flagstones. *sigh*), children and so on.
I have mentioned to a few of my coworkers that my hearing "isn't all that good" since one 'A', gave me and 'L' a ride into Leeds and I couldn't clearly hear them talking. I haven't mentioned it to my project manager or small 'team' yet but I'm close. D's accent/dialect is really hard to understand! I sometimes wonder if he has a speech problem or if it is just his accent being so broad. I'm happy at work (although the commute is killing me) and I'm glad I work there; I enjoy the work and the people.
It's just the noise that is irritating.
